#TeaserTenth Here’s ten lines or words and such

teasertenthbadge#TeaserTenth is a monthly meme that writers, both published and unpublished, can play along in. It’s a great opportunity to meet new folks like yourself, as well as showcase what stories you have going on to both other writers and (hopefully) readers.

Here’s ten lines (THE FIRST TEN LINES) from a novel I’m working on titled: Uprising, in Requiem, I hope y’all like it.

“You know, when Hank said, ‘A county boy will survive,’ I just don’t think this is the kind of shit he was talking about.” Galvar glances back over his shoulder at Grace. She puffs out a tired laugh and adjusts the tree branch they are using to carry the fallen deer on her shoulder.

Grace and Galvar spent years hunting for hobby—and for Grace’s famous deer jerky, of course—but now they hunt for necessity.

“I’m serious.” Galvar steps on a branch hidden under the leaves on the ground, stumbles, rights himself. “Why do we have to get the shittiest apocalypse of all time? Yeah, sure, zombies were cliché and all, but that would have been better than this. Hell, even sparkly vampire apocalypse might have been better than a fucking angel apocalypse, maybe.”

Six months since angels descended from the sky like locusts, but they didn’t destroy the Earth like some biblical plague, this was more like a hostile fucking takeover.

Feel free to check out some of the other authors’ ten lines, all participants can be found here: http://www.jabelfield.com/teaser-tenth-sign-ups.html

Have a great day, guys!

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When the Main Character has to Die

The other night I was browsing noir titles on Netflix and came across a Colin Farrell movie I’d never heard of called DEAD MAN DOWN. There wasn’t shit else on and I didn’t feel like paying to rent a movie so I watched it. To be honest, it wasn’t bad. I enjoyed it for the most part.

Dead_Man_Down_Theatrical_Poster

Yeah, this might not suck. This is a poster for Dead Man Down. The poster art copyright is believed to belong to the distributor of the item promoted, the publisher of the item promoted or the graphic artist. Further details: This is a poster for Dead Man Down (film). The poster art copyright is believed to belong to the distributor of the item promoted, the publisher of the item promoted or the graphic artist.jpg

The movie tells the story of a man infiltrating a crime syndicate to get revenge for them having his family killed two years prior. Cool. This is the part where I mention how much I love revenge stories. I don’t know why, but for whatever reason revenge stories will always be near and dear to my heart.

Here is my only problem with DEAD MAN DOWN: (Spoiler alert, I’m about to tell you the ending so if you think you might one day watch this movie, stop reading now.) The whole movie is fairly dark and somber. A story about revenge, it damn well better be. BUT, at the very end of the movie, the main character walks into a house full of bad guys, with his guns and brass balls on full display. He kills every last one of them without getting so much as a scratch, saves the new love interest, and rides off with her into the sunset.

First, that is a WAY sunnier ending than I was hoping for. I’m not saying the main character always needs to die, but sometimes it just fits. Second, I absolutely hate that the formula for most payback flicks goes like this: Guy’s wife/family get killed, guy devises plan for retribution, guy meets lonely girl along his path to resolution, guy has hot sex with lonely girl, guy finishes killing bad guys, guy and lonely girl live somber ever after.

I hate that so hard. I think about these things, you know? I put myself in the character’s shoes. If I were this character, I wouldn’t stop until the bad guys paid. I wouldn’t sleep, I wouldn’t get drunk (can’t focus on the plan if you’re hammered), I wouldn’t have sex with some random girl until every last person was dead. Maybe I’m a psychopath for that, but I like to think it means I care.

This brings me back to my point about the main character not ALWAYS needing to bite the bullet, literally. And yeah, I mean literally as in literally, like, you know, it really happens. Whatever. Anyway, revenge stories are the perfect kind of story for our ‘hero’ to end up in a coffin.

Here’s an example: The Crow. One of my favorite movies of all time. My oldest son is named after the character. In the story, Eric Draven comes back from the dead to get revenge against the people who killed him and his girlfriend. He kills them, all of them. (Without finding love along the way) And you know what happens when he’s finished? He goes back to his grave. Fucking perfect. He got what he set out to do, his spirit was set free or what the hell ever you want to say.

These characters, who often start out as normal Joes, go on these rampages and kill. I think we can all imagine that killing humans probably takes a big chunk away from a person. Bad guys or not, if you go on a first degree murder spree you are probably going to lose a little bit of yourself. Or maybe a lot of yourself. Possibly even all of yourself, until you are nothing left but a husk filled with rage and violence. And I’m not even saying that is a bad thing.

At some point in most of the stories, a sagely older fella says something to the extent of, “You can still turn back,” or, “Do you think finishing this will bring them back?” or, “You are afraid there will be nothing left after you kill the last one of them”. It happens pretty much without fail in these stories. I guess we need this reminder that killing is bad, mmkay? But I think that character is right, what is left? Where are you supposed to go from there? Can you walk this path and go back to being a normal human again? I doubt it.

So balls up and let the ‘good guy’ die. He kills that last of the villains by setting off a bomb from within the building. He bursts into the gangster’s mansion gun a’blazin’ and takes a few bullets on his way to the top. Whatever.

That’s all of got. Feel free to leave a comment about your favorite revenge story (book, movie, whatever) or just to tell me why I’m dumb. Have a good one, everybody.

Interview with Jonathan Lister

Guys, I’m not wasting any time in jumping right into my interview with my mane man, Jon Lister. (<— see what I did there? He writes about werewolves and I called him ‘mane man’. Doubly funny since I’m the one with all the hair.) Ah-hem. Back on track.

 

Alex Nader (AN): Welcome to the blog, sir. I’ll have you know that BS is considered the highest form of honesty around these parts and don’t shy away from the hard hitting questions. First up, when writing, pants or no pants? I see many authors talk about going pantsless to harness the Chi from within, or whatever. Personally, I’m old fashioned and just use scotch.

 

Jonathan Lister (JL): I keep very little creative chi in my legs. Probably why they haven’t seen the light of day since the Clinton administration. Have to keep their alabaster glow intact right?

 

When writing, I try to keep it as comfortable as possible, which usually means pj pants or some soft equivalent. Coffee works too, as long as I’m ingesting that and not wearing it.

 

AN: Understandable on all accounts. Coffee is the whip at the hand of all muses, I believe.

While reading Bullet I stumbled across a couple pretty funny ‘under the radar’ pop culture references. Do you put a lot of references in your writing? And do you ever say in your head, ‘no one is ever going to catch this’?

 

JL: HA! I hope they catch them and it draws some real world parallels. It’ll suck them into the narrative just a wee bit more y’know? At least I hope it will anyway. Characters watch tv and see things and experience the world around them even if those events don’t happen on the page. Stands to reason that they might use those references to describe that world.

 

AN: So, when not trying to unravel political corruption, David Hastings sits around and watches George Carlin stand-ups? I think the two of us could get along. What about you? Your bio says you used to write game guides, you have journalised (yeah, I just made that word up. And?) about music, I know you watch Game of Thrones, and would guess that you read the occasional book. Is there any one medium of entertainment you prefer, or are you an equal opportunity pop culture fan?

 

JL: I’ll take my nerd pop culture anywhere I can get it. I grew up reading comic books (DC Vertigo, Valiant, Image titles) and loved following those characters month to month. I don’t actually own a tv, so all of my video viewing is web-based. All legal I assure you! Still need to find a means to watch Orphan Black so I can be one of the cool kids.

 

Music has always been a big part of my art and life in general so it tends to infuse itself into just about anything I’m doing.

 

AN: I’m a big music guy too. I find I have to listen to either instrumentals or metal while writing. Do you have specific stuff you listen to while writing? Does it change depending on your project?

 

JL: It absolutely changes! Often by what character I’m writing and who’s perspective the given chapter is filtered through. Like Leon tends to be more post-hardcore: The Chariot, Dance Gavin Dance, Hands Like Houses. Whereas Hastings is more indi rock (Death Cab, The Decemberists, The Dear Hunter) and Shauna trends more towards pop punk (The Wonder Years, Real Friends). I could literally drone on about music for hours and completely bore anyone within earshot. My brain just soaks up that kind of information.

 

AN: Now, I want to take an abrupt halt and change directions completely. Let’s say you are para-sailing in the Galapagos using giant tortoises as your skis. Time is fluid, so obviously you are chillin’ out with Darwin. Who else is there for your island party?

 

JL: Well I think first, Bar Rafaeli. Without question the world’s most ideal island destination companion. We’ll need some entertainment, so the entire cast Lost, by with their minds implanted into animatronic bears.

 

And Gordon Ramsay. Because someone is going to have to figure out a way to make tortoise interesting night after bloody night.

 

AN: Sounds like quite the date night. I’d say you would need a cooler chef, though. If I’m stuck on an island with a personal chef, I’ll take Anthony Bourdain.

Now, specifically in to Bullet, were you ready for the giant shitstorm that fell on Hastings and Gray or was that a seat of the pants kind of thing? Or should I not talk about that?

JL: Shit storm is by far one of my favorite terms. Not just a shit shower. Or even a shit spate. A god damn storm of shit.

 

Sorry what? Oh right! Yes the anvil of doom that fell, and continues to fall, on David and Leon was carefully orchestrated. The events intertwine to the point that I couldn’t wing it and have it work out as well. I want readers to know that everything happens for a reason in the story, even if it’s violent and it seems senseless. It all connects to something else.

 

AN: I applaud your preparations, sir. You are a god amongst your words, always with a plan… Sorry, okay, I’m good now. So last question: Gerbals dressed as Transformers fighting ninja warthogs or Leprechauns dancing to “We Are Family” dressed as the characters from The Birdcage?

 

JL: No god here I assure you. Just a guy who’s far too disorganized to attempt wading into a book without a game plan.

 

Hmmm…toughest decision of my life, this question. Gerbals. Gotta go with the animals being humanoids being costumed versions of something else while still fighting another group of equally implausible creatures. Isn’t that what makes it interesting?

 

AN: I follow your logic on that one. I told you, gotta ask the hard hitting questions and keep these interviews fair and balanced. Parting words, tell the readers, in exactly 17 words and 1 symbol, why they should buy Bullet.

JL: Don’t buy this book unless you’re ready for an addicting story, and to find what this means:pic

 

 

Guys, I’ve read the book. It’s a keeper. I would suggest picking it up today. Here’s more info if you aren’t yet convinced:

 

BOOK TEASER

A father’s love doesn’t bend, so what happens when it breaks?

Corruption, dark truths, and a new Alpha mean Leon Gray’s days of running without a pack are over. At least, that’s what everyone but him believes.

He’d rather be helping his teenage daughter navigate the landmine life of a full werewolf, finish out his servitude as bodyguard to a former Demos City reporter and, in all honesty, not be taken advantage of by a beautiful woman who really only wants him for his body—figuratively and metaphorically.

Of course, the only way any of that might happen is if he’s dead. That’s likely given the information the reporter has unearthed and the territorial battles already underway between packs. If only Demos City’s corruption didn’t have such deep roots—older than the bones of the city or any of the werewolves who’ve decided to claim it. A city can only take so many power hungry mongrels invading it at one time, and Leon can only take so much knowing his daughter lives within its boundaries.

War has come to Demos City.

It’s up to Leon to fix … what’s most important to him.

AUTHOR BIO

http://iJonathanlister.wordpress.com

Jonathan Lister is a full-time writer with work appearing in outlets of USA Today, The Houston Chronicle and many others. A graduate of the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics at Naropa University, he’s waited an unspeakable amount of tables en route to having the career he wants, and the ability to the tell stories he loves. Bullet, a Demos City Novel is Jonathan’s second book-length work of fiction. He currently lives in the Philadelphia area and continues to drink too much coffee.

bullet

Buy it here:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Bullet-Demos-City-Novel-Book-ebook/dp/B00KWHK8PI/

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bullet-jonathan-lister/1119709414

Kobo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/bullet-9

 

Free Sexy Dog Books @JABelfield

Hello Hello, my friends my friends. For some reason I have an echo today, today, today…Me and my echo are here to present you with a giveaway, giveaway, giveaway, free shit…Sorry, my echo gets a little sassy, much like the author of this book, Lady Belfield. I’ve read this book and as a stone hearted, hard as nails, manly man of all things testosterone related, I can say I liked it alot. So enter for a chance to win a free copy today, today, today, right fucking now…. J. Taylor Publishing are giving away FIVE ARCs of Unnatural by J.A. Belfield!

Check it out!

Unnatural. One word to sum up werewolf Kyle Larsen—his mood swings, abnormal body, and choice of female. The first two, he blames on the vampire venom. The third, though? No, feline shifter Brook Nicholls was all his doing—a female of whom the pack will never approve. As part of the Coalition, an organisation with even stricter rules than the pack and a rigidly warped sense of responsibility, Brook comes with a whole lot of opposition of her own. No wonder the two of them keep their relationship secret for as long as they can. Now, distanced from his family by his own indiscretions, Kyle’s left to fight battles he’s unsure how to win—some of them even against his own pack. Is one woman really so important that he’s willing to defy his Alpha for her? If his heart has any say in the matter, the answer will be yes.

A great addition to the Holloway Pack, UNNATURAL will please both veterans of the series and new readers alike. It also just might be the paranormal romance you’ve all been waiting for.

And J. Taylor Publishing is giving away FIVE ARC copies.

To YOU!

You don’t even have to be a book blogger!

Nope, so long as you are willing to leave an honest review* between the dates March 19th and April 6th 2014, you are eligible to enter.

Interested?

Then just fill out the form and keep your fingers crossed.

You have until midnight of March 18th to enter.

*A review should consist of your honest thoughts regarding a book, usually a few paragraphs long and around 150 – 500 (sometimes more) words in length. About J.A. Belfield: Hello Hello, my friends my friends. For some reason I have an echo today, today, today…Me and my echo are here to present you with a giveaway, giveaway, giveaway, free shit…Sorry, my echo gets a little sassy, much like the author of this book, Lady Belfield. I’ve read this book and as a stone hearted, hard as nails, manly man of all things testosterone related, I can say I liked it alot. So enter for a chance to win a free copy today, today, today, right fucking now…. One day, a character and scene popped into J. A. Belfield’s head, and she started controlling the little people inside her imagination as though she were the puppet master and they her toys. Questions arose: What would happen if …? How would they react if …? Who would they meet if …? Before she knew it, a singular scene had become an entire movie. The characters she controlled began to hold conversations. Their actions reflected the personalities she bestowed upon them. Within no time, they had a life, a lover, a foe, family … they had Become. One day, she wrote down her thoughts. She’s yet to stop. J. A. Belfield lives in Solihull, England, with her husband, two children, three cats, and a dog. She writes paranormal romance with a second love for urban fantasy.

Week 3 Blog Tour Roundup

What’s up fellow friends of the internet? I’ve been busy as hell lately so my blog tour roundup is a day late. My apologies. So here you go, one day late, but spectacular as ever…

 

Monday Ty stopped at Terri Rochenski’s place for a quick interview. As always he was a many of many snarky words.

Wednesday I was off to my LS Murphy’s spot to talk about my completely worthless method of picking character names.

And finally, Friday I dropped some knowledge of the Prose Before Hohos guys about how to write a series. It’s some pretty epic knowledge and I’d suggest most authors read it to learn everything I have to say about the topic.

 

Yup, pretty short week, but it’s all about quality, right?

Blog Tour Roundup Week Two

Hey all,

Here with another update about this lovely blog tour. Did I say lovely? I mean THIS TOTALLY BADASS, ASS KICKING, NO SHIT TAKING FROM NOBODY blog tour.

Anyway, I had some pretty fun stops so here they are.

On Monday I got interviewed by one of Robin Hood’s merry fellows. It was interesting and you got to find out why all of my kids have the letters “VA” in the middle of their names.

Tuesday, I stopped at J.A. Belfield’s place to tell her what Ty needs to survive a day of demon hunting. You might be surprise by the answer. It’s very heartfelt.

Wednesday was another quick interview with Emi Gayle about how much high school sucks.

-Next, I told Jen at Random some tips for surviving demons and she wrote a clever review of Burdin in poem form.

-And Today (Friday), I had an interview with Laney McMann. She gets some pretty honest answers (really) about where Beasts of Burdin came from.

 

Lastly, I put up what might be the funniest post I’ve ever written at the Prose Before Hohos blog. It’s about accidentally summoning a demon and contains at least one reference to The Craft…

NEWS! Plus weekly tour wrap up

Hey everybody,

 

First up, I want to share some pretty awesome news. The guys over at ProseBeforeHohos.com have invited me to become a contributing editor at the site. That means my blog post will now be somewhat evenly divided between here and there. All the Prose Bros are cool guys and if you’re not familiar with the site, go give it a follow.

Now, on to Beasts of Burdin blog tour news. Here’s a recap of everywhere I’ve been this week.

 

I got to share my favorite PIs with Kayla over at Bibliophilia.

I shared my favorite authors with Laurie’s Paranormal Thoughts and Things.

Lola’s Reviews got a list of my favorite foods.

A list of favorite demon books, tv, and movies went to Musings of a Fantasy Writer’s Life.

And finally, over at the Stabby Pen, Jonathan Lister gave me the most professional interview ever. If you only click one link, click this one. I’m honored.

 

And lastly, I wrote an article for Prose about why writing is a complete waste of time, and that’s not a bad thing.

 

That’s it. Stay tuned for more next week. Monday I’ve got the most intriguing interview of the tour coming up…